A while back, I wrote a post called The 10 Best Ways to Win an Argument. It’s a completely tongue-in-cheek piece, intended to draw a laugh by highlighting common actions people take in difficult conversations and which are, in fact, poor choices. Some yield consistently disastrous results (though some of us keep doing them anyway) and some yield a temporary “win” that transforms quickly into relationship debris.
Over the past few months, the post has gotten a lot of traffic and almost everyone who’s commented or dropped me a note about it has told me they found it pretty funny.
Notice that I said “almost everyone.”
A handful of folks have left me outraged, even occasionally vitriolic, notes to let me know how horrified they are at my awful “advice.” Said one, “How dare you call yourself a conflict management coach! If people do what you described in this post, they’ll be creating more damage in their relationships! Shame on you.”
Gosh I love both the human spirit and its complexity. Even in a post that I believe is pretty clearly a joke, a few have nevertheless misunderstood my intent. It’s another good reminder about how easily misunderstanding breeds anger and the desire to lecture, judge, or attack.
I’m thinking of adding a short note at the very end of the post: “Note to readers: If you’ve gotten this far and still think I’m serious, take a deep breath and curb your outrage for a moment. It’s all tongue in cheek.”
Posted on Nov 17th 06 by Tammy Lenski.
Tammy helps people talk out their differences and build stronger work and home relationships in the process. She does this as a coach, mediator and trainer and works with people worldwide. http://www.lenski.com
Other posts on Coachamatic by Tammy Lenski.
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